OK so let me just say from the get-go that I thought the opening ceremony of the Glasgow Games was amazing. By London 2012 standards they had a meagre budget but bloody hell did they put on a show. I was so envious of my colleagues up there on the night but the atmosphere and warmth really came through to this viewer sat in a steamy Croydon semi.
The whole evening was brash, quirky and opinionated. Just like a Glaswegian. You can catch two of my favourites on The Janey Godley podcast every week. Like Janey & Ashley, the opening ceremony was full of Scottish pride, heart and self deprecating humour. A genuine welcome to the banks of the Clyde.
That said there were some right clangers during the evening. What sadist set Susan Boyle up for a fall with that dreadful McCartney dirge. Mull of fucking Kintyre has to be the worst bagpipe anthem ever written and was completely wrong for the Blackburn diva. As soon as she opened her gob you knew she wasn't happy with this trite shite. The nerves kicked in and she stumbled over the words and lost her pitch for the rest of the verse. I bet she was raging back stage and throwing bottles of Irn Bru at her entourage. Her Maj and Phil must have thought they'd got a turn from the Maryhill TA Social Club. This wasn't the dream Subo dreamed. It was a palm sweating nightmare.
John Barrowman wasn't much better. All contrived accent and mincing around with some Tunnock's tea cakes. Why couldn't we have had Lulu or Sheena Easton or even the bloody Krankies?
Rod Stewart did a turn but whilst his raspy delivery used to sound quite sexy in 1978, it's just a croaky old man now who sounds like he needs some Benylin and a packet of Strepsils.
Glasgow didn't need these big yins. The Flash mob in George Square was the highlight for me. Just real people, on the streets, having a good time. Oh and the little Scottie dogs leading the athletes into the stadium was inspired. G'on yersel Glasgeh!
After losing 3 housemates last week the Big Brother house was a bit shaken. Pav and Zoe tried to settle in while Steven had a bit of a Britney Spears meltdown after the loss of his 'poor cow'. His game plan was scuppered so he painted his face, waxed his pubes and shaved all his hair off to keep the focus on him. His needy lust was transferred to a stuffed robot. Now there's irony for you. He thought he looked the bees knees in his blue task trackies but it was more Bulgarian wrestling coach than street chic. Steven Goode proves that money can't buy you style. He's just a massive bell-end with a fat wallet.
The Power returned to the house with Ashleigh, Chris and Mark calling the shots. Bianca, Matthew and Danielle planted some bitter seeds of doubt about Pav & Zoe but they were always safe as we now had our opportunity to evict selfish Steve. I suspect Pav won't last past next Friday. He's just plain dull. I'd rather watch Lauren Goodger's sex video.
Good games in Borehamwood this week as the housemates showed of their vocal talents in a sing-off that had my cringe glands swelling up again. Maybe Subo, Rod & Captain Jack weren't that bad after all.
Thank goodness Mark got some negative crowd reaction this week. He's so up himself and condescending. I'm tired of his hissy fits and attention seeking now. It's a pity he can't see his crumbling support in his own tea leaves.
Helen and Ash crossed a line this week and had something more than a friendly spoon under the duvet. Helen is clearly besotted with the Mancunian Macho Man but I don't think his Mum needs to be worrying about buying a new hat any time soon.
In other news. Steven is out and Ashleigh brushed her hair.
Oh and Kimberly turned up on BBBOTS looking remarkably fit and healthy but still madly in love with Steven. She must have a mental illness.
No comments:
Post a Comment