The Big Brother House has always been a barometer for UK life and this year's deadbeats and desperados didn't disappoint on that front. Genius casting produced a show that gave us clichés and gross caricatures to love and hate for 3 weeks. However the really clever thing about Big Brother is that it's a show that should make us take a look at ourselves and society in 2012. It started as a social experiment and despite the sleazy headlines and contempt from Daily Mail types it still manages to produce a cacophonous display of British behaviour. Sometimes that's hard to watch but it's always fascinating and often a bloody good laugh.
Today's world is where a woman like Kristen Stewart is labelled a flagitious floozie and publicly humiliated for daring to have an affair whilst informally attached to her vampire lover.
It's a place where Big Brother's big busted Imogen Thomas becomes as hated as Myra Hindley for shagging a scraggy old footballer. Said footballer, who has betrayed his wife, children and brother goes on to be rewarded with the Captaincy of the British Olympic Team and becomes the first Brit to ever win the international Gold Boot award. What a hero! He might be a 'see you next Tuesday' but who cares as long as he can kick a ball around a bit.
It's a world where an American R&B star can knock six bells out of his pop princess and still sell bucket loads of records and win the Best Male Video at the MTV Video Awards. His rehabilitation being strangely masterminded by the female victim who still seems controlled and influenced by this thug. I believe she referred to this as 'love'. Ladies - this is romance in the 21st century. Instead of a single rose down The Harvester expect a black eye and your false nails ripped off.
Women these days are so confused about their place in society that they are reduced to fighting amongst themselves. What happened to sisterhood? Did the Suffragettes really suffer for this? Why do women hate each other so much? The answer always comes back to one thing. Men.
So back to my original point about Big Brother. All of this was served up in massive dollops during Celebrity BB 2012.
With a house full of random hunks, the women were at each others throats from day 1 and the males were happy to allow this to play out. They just preened and sat about in the sunshine like lazy lions and only roared when it was time for dinner or to stir up the oestrogen.
MC Harvey and his Mini Me were experts at this manipulation. Harvey seemed to have acquired good morals for the camera despite his many years of shagging around with other people's chicks. So much so that his campaign against flirty Danica meant he spent most of week 2 in the Diary Room convincing us that she was the whore of Babylon. This is the man whose respect gauge seems to think that splaying your arse cheeks to show a 47 year old woman your chocolate starfish is just a bit of banter.
The little Judoka got the throw on Rhian too when the silly boy misread her signals and then sulked for a week at getting a knock back. The nation felt for the poor kid and the Northern Jezebel just had to be taught a lesson.
Danica was a really easy target for being fit and friendly. She was hated by Cruella De Lennard for being the fairest in the land. She was done over by Mike for being the first bird to ever turn him down. Oh the shame and on national telly too. She had to go for making the situation uncomfortable. You know what the real situation was? It was why he's not done something to fix that fat nose with all the millions he's earned from being a twat on MTV.
Sure enough the Great British public evicted the women one by one for their 'disgraceful' behaviour.
The first man to go was Prince Lorenzo. Apparently the viewers found him boring and he was evicted for being a thoroughly decent chap. Man up Lorenzo and maybe try slapping a girl around next time to get more votes.
Our Alexis Colby and Krystle Carrington were Julie and Colleen. I really prayed for Colleen to grab the disabled pensioner *cough* by her stringy mane and throw her in the pool. The 2 old birds hated each other for no apparent reason but both of them vied for the boy's attention at every opportunity. A particular low light was Ms Goodyear jiggling her tits in the jacuzzi and Mike asking if they were real. Are you for real man? Nobody would actually buy saggy bag breasts like that.
So in the end the bad little boys and bitchy girls were bested by a camp old queen in lippy and eye liner who was inoffensive, witty and sensitive to other's feelings. Maybe there's hope for us yet!
